Posts Tagged ‘ work ’

What’s been eating at me lately…

So as of late, there are a number of things that have been gnawing at me and I’ve been hanging on to the hope that the sensation to explode with frustration will subside, but it hasn’t, so I’m gonna steal the next few moments to just vent.

So I’m not gonna bore you or take a long winded approach at this and make this a finely comprised blog filled with fancy fonts and things, I’m just gonna get right to it. So to the things that have been eating at me…people who come into a good job, or family member who comes into a good job then it turns into a big show of “oh hey look at me, i got a fancy car and a fancy big house and blah blah blah’, well guess what, no one gives a shit. Good for you for living life in excess, and vanity, but for those of us who have to scratch and claw every damn day to make it by for his family, we don’t brag about our money because we stay humble as a reminder that the hard work we put in everyday is worth it, plus we don’t have it! I’m not saying everyone is like that, because they are not, but in my life experiences, I’ve come across those who are like that, and it just makes me pissed because it’s not out of jealousy that that upsets me, but I feel like it’s rubbed in my face and a not spoken “hey you’ll never have what I have” kind of feeling that just makes me work harder. So to the “so called” family and friends who live that life, it’s no wonder I don’t talk to you.


The next thing on my list is people who get pregnant and parade it around like you won the damn loto, well good on you, but for those of us who are less fortunate to not be able to create another life and bring that life to this world, it fucking hurts. My fiance and I have tried for years, and for us to not have another child in this world sucks, but we’ve come to accept that we were blessed to have the hurricane that is out son and are ok with it, but when you have people who can’t even take care of themselves getting knocked up out of the sure vanity and attention of it is just bullshit. I wish you the best of luck, but don’t come crawling on your knees begging for attention when things get tough.


Last point I will address and then I’ll wrap this up is what friends I’ve made along my journey in life. I’m greatful to them for being here for me and my family, but to those who disguise yourselves as friends but drop from the face of the earth then show yourselves when it matters to you, get bent. I’m not much of a people person as it is, and when I spend my energy to try and be and remain friends, it’s god damn exhausting. I try and make arrangements and things but when it comes to another excuse it’s exhausting to keep up the positive point of view. My fiance and I have tried and are trying to be more “social” but when shit like this happens, it’s like why bother, but hey what can you do, you can’t change the world, that’s just the way it is.


I can’t wait forever

So earlier this week, it happened. Something I didn’t foresee or expect. A layoff. I thought I was done with those, but I guess not. Now while going through this, I did experience some of the normal feelings that come with it. Anger, frustration, sadness, fear, anxiety…All normal things. Now I was promised that this would not be a permanent thing, and I should, SHOULD being the key word here boys and girls, be back to work before month end. Not while that’s all well and good, I don’t really want to sit and wait for the event that end of month comes, and nothing has changed, I’m still out of a job. So I can’t wait. I need to get looking now in the event that something happens and I don’t go back to my job. I loved it there, I really did. the environment, the people, how close it was to home. I loved it. But I can’t sit on baited breath hoping I get a magical phone call saying “Hey, we have the new contract signed and you can come back to work on Monday.” I have to look now. Fingers crossed a friend of mine can come through for me on a possible job where she works, which would be awesome but we’ll see.  BTW, this was just a short update haha. Nothing super major or dramatic to blog about today. Just wanted to get all that off my chest. Until next time kids!  #MaximumEffort

Off we go…again

So I’m brushing the dust off my blog and have decided to take up typing out an update and to peal back a layer of skin and let flow where I am today. So over the past year things have been the roller coaster ride we never asked for.The job I had decided to close up shop in the building I’ve come to know and a job i’ve come to love. I made the most of the last 3 months following the news of the layoff and put in some effort to find a plan B as I was not traveling, let along uproot my family to a major city. So I made a decision to find work closer to home and I had, and it was just in time as my start date was the week after the site closed. I was one of the last few to bid a farewell to my friends whom I’ve worked with and got to know as that chapter came to a close. 


Now with the start of my new job, came new friends and new adventures! I became friends with some of the most unique, talented, and as down to earth as you could find. When I joined the new company I had finally thought that this was it, this was going to be the job I knew I wasn’t going to leave and it happened again. On a faithful Saturday in February, I received a call, and bad news stuck again. for the second time in less then a year, I was on the outside looking in. Thankfully I had built up enough weeks to be able to collect temporary assistance until I found new employment. Now while being out of work, I did make the best of my time by doing the one thing I was not able to do in a long time, and that is spend it with my family. We had an adventure to Pa to visit the rest of my family and friends, we had fun in the snow when it fell, and enjoyed the sun shine on the best days of spring.


The time off gave me the chance to be able to visit T’s school for an event called Real men read day. It was something new that was started this year that gave the dads, grandpas, and brothers a chance to come and read to the children in the school. That was an experience I will carry with me as it gave me a chance to be closer to my son, something I missed. I also had a chance to be able to spend time with my loving fiance. She has been a rock, keeping me from falling to pieces when everything else seemed to come undone. Without her, I don’t think we would have been able to make it like we did. I know that because of me being out at work, we drifted apart and I don’t think she will ever know how being able to spend time with her being off of work had made me appreciate her more then I could ever express.


So now for the present…Two weeks ago, I received a phone call that took this ride on a complete 180. While being out shopping with the family, my cell phone rang with the good news, the best news in month. I was offered a job to start that following Monday! It wasn’t too far away from home, it was familiar ground for me, and let’s face it, the pay was better. So I made the decision and took it. I was up the next day to fill out paperwork, and just like that, I’m back to work. I’ve completed my first week of training and so far so good. I’m not as nervous as I thought I would be considering that there is so much more to learn but life is all about learning something new. So we’re off and running…again.