Posts Tagged ‘ random ’

I can’t wait forever

So earlier this week, it happened. Something I didn’t foresee or expect. A layoff. I thought I was done with those, but I guess not. Now while going through this, I did experience some of the normal feelings that come with it. Anger, frustration, sadness, fear, anxiety…All normal things. Now I was promised that this would not be a permanent thing, and I should, SHOULD being the key word here boys and girls, be back to work before month end. Not while that’s all well and good, I don’t really want to sit and wait for the event that end of month comes, and nothing has changed, I’m still out of a job. So I can’t wait. I need to get looking now in the event that something happens and I don’t go back to my job. I loved it there, I really did. the environment, the people, how close it was to home. I loved it. But I can’t sit on baited breath hoping I get a magical phone call saying “Hey, we have the new contract signed and you can come back to work on Monday.” I have to look now. Fingers crossed a friend of mine can come through for me on a possible job where she works, which would be awesome but we’ll see.  BTW, this was just a short update haha. Nothing super major or dramatic to blog about today. Just wanted to get all that off my chest. Until next time kids!  #MaximumEffort

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Time never forgets

Me and my fiance were watching this new show called Class, which is a Doctor Who spin-off series, which is brilliant, but getting back on track, The Doctor had a quote from the first episode that he was on which I loved, especially the last line of it.

“Sometimes you have to take survival upon yourselves. What will you do when the shadows come? When you can’t turn away from the darkness ahead. Time has looked at your faces before and time never forgets”

It takes alot for a quote to have an impact on me but the ending line of the that speech, “Time never forgets” means something to me. What I think it means is that our lives are short and that what ever we do, for good or bad, time never forgets those things. So make the most of the life you have. Face the tough days head on, be sure to apologize to the ones you hurt, even if it’s something you didn’t mean to say because i really feel that time never forgets those things good or bad.

This is a short rant so keep that in mind.

Feeling like a bottle under extreme pressure as of late, what better forum to release that tension then in a rant. I’ll keep is short as I don’t want to end up rambling on.

Last weekend we went to a convention in Syrcause that we’ve been building up for for weeks, the word was spread, family was called, friends were told, stuff like that. And in the hopes that we would have more family attend to support us, hardly anyone came. Sure I know that people have lives and driving anywhere from 2-4 hours is tough, and with some having little ones, I can completely understand the stress and potential trouble of traveling can be. But when you can’t even say I can’t make it or atleast lie about why you can’t come, that upsets me.

Another thing that bugs the hell out of me is the fallout of this election. People were divided, still are. People were at each other’s necks because their candidate won over the other, still are. friendships were ended, or broken, and now there are riots, murders, and I doubt it will end there. I always have wondered what would happen when chaos reigns over us all and I feel in the coming months, we will find out.

Lastly, back to my first point about family. I have some family, not on my side because God forbid they give a crap, but I have family on my fiance’s side that atleast gives a shit, well some of them anyway. On my side, I have hardly anyone. I have family sure, mom, dad, step dad and step mom, a few step siblings, two brothers, a sister in law, a friend who i considered my sister, a niece, a cousin, hell I even have family that doesn’t live all that far form us. All of which I haven’t seen in coming on five years. Yeah social media is great and all, but to be face to face with them, to talk and to spend time with them is WAY better. Which is why I made the extra effort to suggest they come visit, as they were only a 2hr drive, way better then the 4hr one they would have had to make to come all the way to our place to visit. But no, no phone call, no text, no message on facebook…nothing from no one. and now that it’s been almost a week, still nothing.

So here I sit, crushed under the weight of sadness, bitterness and rage, all over a family that for a moment I thought would have taken time from their “busy” lives to come for a Sunday drive and visit, catch up, spend time with us, but alas, NOPE. So I’m twisting arms anymore, not begging or pleading or ever asking anymore. I have officially reach the point of no return on those people.

I know that I said this was gonna be short, and it is, compaired to how I still feel and the cussing and things I wanted to add. So in closing, I say this. Sure you cannot pick your family but if I had it my way, I’d pick to be with out any of them before having to deal with them. this feeling may change, in time, but not today.

The year that was

So 2015 was an interesting year not just for me and my family but for the rest of the world and though not that alot of what happens out side my home effects me, sometimes there are thing that just get me to that point, but I, like i should, just let it go. 2015 was full of ups and downs. I felt the loss of another job thanks to “down sizing” but felt the plus side of that loss by working in a good place right up the road and making some amazing friends.  We also had an adventure to our first Con (Convention for those not in the know). We went to Retrogamecon, which is a one day celebration of all things gaming retro! We had seen cosplayers, fellow gamers, and met some talented artists, and the kicker, my fiance (Mom’s Place of Sanity and KreativeMumma) was one of several vendor’s featured in their Artist’s Ally! I couldn’t be prouder! I know that we both enjoyed our selves and our son T did as well! Before I forget to add this, we had some visitors come to see us for the day too! Our friend Crissy and her fiance Toby drove from Pa all the way up to Syrcause to see us, we had some friends I work with come all the way out and the kicker, my uncles who i haven’t seen since i was a kid and my cousin came to see us! That made the weekend totally worth it!  I’m hoping this year will be better then the last though with the things that happened at the end of the year, I’m hoping that it carries over 🙂

Man on fire

As of late, I have felt like a man on fire. Between my performance at work improving everyday, my relationship with my fiance is improving and is shows, and family life getting more and more amazing, nothing at this point will stop me. My life is now moving forward with a momentum that cannot be haulted or derailed, shaken or rattled. I wake up everyday and thank my lucky stars that I am blessed with an amazing family, a great job, and great friends. The only thing that I am going to worry about now is when is the next chapter in this adventure I call my life going to begin because I am ready. I am…a man, on fire.

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