Why do I…

Why do I feel as though the plans I have for my family and I always seem to fall through. I find us a house that I thought would have been a great little place to start our life, but it’s proving out to be more trying then anything else. The house we’re renting needs repairs, mainly to the exterior which we’re praying that the landlord will follow through on making right. The other thing that has be me upset is the fact that my fiance and I were looking to get married next month. With given our circumstances and our income (when I say our income because I work and she may not have the “9-5” job but her job is 24-7 with being a stay at home mommy, and that’s the way we wanted it to be), it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen as planned. I just wish that things were different and we didn’t have to struggle every month just to stay ahead of the 8 ball. I want to marry the woman I love more then anything but I don’t want to be deemed as a failure because I couldn’t do the one thing she was looking forward to more then anything. I just hope that with everything that is being stacked against us is just a bad joke and the punch line is coming so I can get it over with.

  1. I love you hun and maybe someday we will be able to be a full family and that we taking your last name. I know we had it planned for May 11th I wanted that day cause it was around the same date as my great-grandparents and I loved them so much and our relationship reminds me of how much my great grandparents loved each other. The house I know we thought was going to be good but we got that we got screwed on but I do hope the landlord holds up to doing the repairs. We just have so much stress that not many people know about, they see us as a happy family but only if they knew of all the stress we have to carry. Just remember I love you forever, you are my one true love, best friend, fiance, and a wonderful father to our son<3

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