What am I, really.

So the question has been asked. So what am i, really. Am I a good dad who loves and supports his son? Am I a son who respects his parents and step parents? Am I a devoted fiance to an amazing woman? Am I a person who goes to work everyday just to provide for his family? I am to some extent. As of late though, I feel as though my duties as both a dad and fiance have been failed. I cannot seem to do right for our son, and I can’t seem to do right for my fiance to a point where she is in tears at random points due to stress in our lives. I only ask that some day I will be forgiven for past transgressions I have committed in my life and that the stress levels of current situations will pass.
I any more lay at night asking my self, does she truly love me like she did when we first met? Does she still have faith in me that I can provide for her and our son through the difficult times? Does she still believe in me that I have the strength and will to over come this hard time we are facing and can still be the best dad, and fiance I can be? I know that the answer is always going to be yes, but, I always end up at a road block where I come to road block my self in my own self doubt. I don’t pray much any more, though as of late I find my self doing so only to have that strength to make it through.

 

So what am I, really. The answer is dedicated. dedicated to my family, dedicated to the belief that we will over come this road block, and dedicated to the fact that one never carries more than they can bare.

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